So I turn 32 today. It’s kind of a non-age. In my mind, 33 is a bit of a milestone, 30 is an obvious milestone, but 32, that’s nothing. Of course, I couldn’t care less either way. Age means very little to me now, but I guess this is as good a day as any for me to reminisce/write about the past 9 years (8 years and 9 months, actually) and where I am now.
I’m fairly surprised about how happy I am now and how good I feel. On this day 9 years ago, I was with a friends in London, ON, on a inter-term break from my Master’s program (in Public Administration – MPA) from the University of Victoria. The next day, I would get picked up in Toronto and would get a ride to the Ottawa River, near Cobden, to go whitewater rafting for the weekend (along with about 15 more friends). Good times!
I then went back to Victoria for term 2 of my MPA program and I continued training for triathlon, a sport I tried for the first time in January of that same year. Three months later, I crashed into a tree and my life changed.
When we were rafting/bouncing our way through the whitewater, or even when I was pushing my body and bike down hills in Victoria, I never pictured myself at any age but 23. However, I also never envisioned myself doing anything but playing sports; water polo, cycling, basketball, small games of impromptu football, etc. Doing all of that stuff now would be awesome, I miss it. That said, I’m really happy right now.
I was in rehab (inpatient and outpatient) for 2 years in St. John’s, I finished my MPA (and 8 months of rehab in Victoria), I worked in Ottawa for 3 years, I moved home, worked here and I finally wrote that yet-to-be-published book (manuscript). Looking to fix or lessen my double vision, I had my 4th eye surgery in January and 2 and a half weeks ago I got glasses to help that along. It looks like that’s about as far as surgery/glasses are going to go towards fixing my double vision (so far its ok, but I’ll know better in 2-3 months). I’ve also started doing Pilates, which is awesome! I feel really good!
Hence, this post. Now what? Every other year, no matter how lofty or how mundane my expectations were, I had expectations. This year, it’s not as though I don’t expect anything, it’s not as though I don’t have hopes, it’s that I don’t put any weight on them. I wanted to write “it’s that I don’t care”, but that comes across the wrong way. I care. It just doesn’t matter. I’m in no rush, but I’m also not deliberately slowing my life down. Whatever happens, happens.